Afraid of the Dark?
by AWarriorsWounds
Summary: Follow Hawkfrost as he speaks of his past, his crimes, the Dark Forest, and Ivypaw.
1. The Eternal Night

**Hello again! As you can see, I'm writing another Fan Fiction. No infringement intended.**

Can a Dark Forest warrior be afraid of the dark?  
Quite the interesting question, I'll give you that. But how can we be, when the darkness is what shrouds our mind when we do wrong? The darkness lurks in our brains and our hearts alike, doomed to wander there forever- before and after our deaths. In some, the blackness is more apparent than others. But sometimes, we can lose our way in the bleak fog that stalks the back of our brains. We can be lead astray, lose our grasp on right and wrong.  
I believed I was doing the right thing by attempting to kill Firestar and smooth Brambleclaw's path to leadership. I thought I had done the right thing when I helped my sister, Mothwing, become a medicine cat. And look what those two mistakes, made in the emptiest reaches of my heart, got me. Along with so many other cats, I am condemned to walk the shadows that I had walked among in my mind.  
Now, I must answer your question with another question.  
Can a Dark Forest warrior be afraid of his own heart?

**I originally wanted to go with just three chapters, but should I keep writing these until I run out of ideas/space on my computer? I'm also going to post a new chapter tomorrow, since this is the shortest chapter I've ever written...  
**


	2. Kit in the Mist

**POWER UPDATE! Remember, no infringement intended!**

Who goes there? Hey, you! In the bushes! Come out, you should work on hiding yourself more.  
Don't be alarmed, I won't hurt you, even though I can tell where you came from by the smell of the night and the stars on your fur. Why did you stray so far from StarClan's nursery, little kit? Were you seeking a bit of the adventures you heard the queens tell stories about? No matter what the reason, it was a foolish thing to do. You've walked right into The Place of No Stars. I should assume you've heard of the evil residents here from the queens. Does my name, Hawkfrost, sound familiar? I know my name is mentioned in plenty of nursery tales. I can see the frightened look in your eyes; don't worry, I would never harm a kit, but there are plenty of cats here who have and would.  
Come with me; you'll be somewhat safer with me than wandering on your own. See the eyes all around us? Those are all cats. Their names have been forgotten, but their evil misdeeds still have faint echoes among all of the Clans to this day.  
Please don't hide between my legs. I'll just be tripping over you the whole time. Just walk beside me; I'll protect you.  
See that clearing over there? That is where all of the cats of the Dark Forest gather to train... Never mind. We mostly walk alone in this place anyways.  
Nice pounce there, but sorry, those shadows aren't prey. There isn't any prey in this whole forest. There isn't any hunger, either, but after a while you miss what it's like to bite into warm, juicy fresh-kill.  
Let's continue on. There is one more place I'd like to show you before I have to return you to StarClan. It isn't close to here, and why would anyone assume anything of significance could be close to a forest that is so empty but yet is filled with cats?  
Well, here we are. Welcome to the meadow. See all the flowers, and that gray mare in that field over there? Can you feel the sunshine on your back and the soft breeze in your fur? This is a wonderful place, right? It's hard to believe that Dark Forest cats, who have had to stalk the shadows of eternal night, can visit a meadow like this. Go run around, the grass is incredibly soft.  
Had your fill yet? I should probably bring you back to StarClan before one of my Clanmates finds you here. Some of them are known for what they have done to kits... For StarClan's sake, don't hide between my legs again!  
What about the other cats, you ask? Well, they've all committed unspeakable crimes against their own Clanmates. Darkstripe, for instance, once poisoned a kit that had seen too much of his misdeeds. You could have met a new member of the StarClan nursery that day. Brokenstar made the forest run red with the blood of kits forced to fight too early. You were lucky I found you before any of the others did. It's dangerous here, little kit. Be wary when you decide to visit the Place of No Stars again, because I won't always be around to guide you out.  
Well, we're at the border. What? You want me to come with you to StarClan? No, I can't, I'm sorry. This is as far as I can go.  
Goodbye, little kit. It's best you don't mention who brought you home.

**Thanks for reading, now can you review?**


	3. Mentor and Apprentice

**Afraid of the Dark? is being continued! Oh, happy day!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did own Warriors, Hawkfrost would still be alive. :(**

I'm training Ivypaw again.

In the forest, I was never a mentor. I never knew what it was like to train a young cat to be a strong fighter, but now, I sort of do. Deep down, in a part of my heart I wasn't even sure I had, I wondered if what I was using her for was alright.

_Yes, _I insisted to myself, _it is. It's perfectly fine. The time of StarClan and the warrior code _must _come to an end. Ivypaw will only assist._

I couldn't help but wonder if I had condemned my unusual apprentice to some horrible punishment. If she fought against the Clans, there was no telling how they'd treat her- if the Clan cats survived the final great battle, that is.

_The time is coming, _I insisted. _You can't turn back. Train Ivypaw, and train her well._

How Tigerstar would disown me if I refused to train Ivypaw to turn against her Clan. I couldn't do it; if my father killed me here, there would be nothing after the Dark Forest. I would be gone, vanished. I couldn't let that happen. Not to me.

_Sorry, Ivypaw._ I took a deep breath and Ivypaw noticed.

"What's wrong?" she mewed, gazing up at me with round, innocent blue eyes.

"Nothing," I lied convincingly.

_Can I really use her?_

"Could you teach me something new, then?" She prodded my flank with one small, delicate paw.

_Yes. Yes I can._

**So, did you like it? Afraid of the Dark? has been on hiatus for WAY too long. I need to update it more. I'll work on another chapter and upload it again today! Thanks! **


	4. Liar

**What time is it? Update time! This chapter takes place around Night Whispers, so this whole chapter (and much of the actual fan-fiction) contains spoilers! Proceed with caution!**

I've trained Ivypaw for countless moons. She's always been willing to learn and eager to try every new battle move I teach her, but now...something's different. Her heart doesn't seem to be in it anymore. She's afraid of her own shadow when she comes here, and she's like a restless moth that can't alight. Her paws are heavy and while she's in the Dark Forest, her mind is somewhere else.

After one practice spar with Mapleshade, I excused Ivypaw when the training extended beyond the time I was willing to wait to talk to her.

**"**I'd like to practice a different move with her," I told Mapleshade. The bulky she-cat turned without a word and stalked off, leaving Ivypaw hunched with pain in the clearing.

The silver-and-white apprentice stared at me with one swollen eye. A gash above the good eye oozed blood and I could tell her sprained paw was hurting more than ever.

"What's the matter?" I asked her.

"Nothing," Ivypaw murmured, avoiding looking in my eyes.

"Are you alright?" I put as much concern as I could muster-in other words, not a lot- into my voice.

"What does it look like?" she snapped, her blue eyes flashing. She shook her head and blood droplets stained the greasy, dark grass.

"You aren't putting as much effort into your training anymore." I glared at her. "I doubt you even want to train in the Dark Forest."

"I do!" she insisted vehemently.

"Then when the battle comes, who will you fight for?" I hissed. I had to know who her loyalties lied with.

Ivypaw was silent as she scraped her claws through the grass.

_"Who will you fight for?" _I repeated insistently. "Will you fight for the Dark Forest, or the Clans?" It sounded like a stupid question.

_Who _wouldn't _fight for the Dark Forest? _I wondered.

Ivypaw straightened and gazed straight at me. "I will fight for the Dark Forest," she pledged, her voice clear and strong.

I allowed her to think I believed her, to think I didn't hear the waver in her voice or see the glint in her eyes.

I knew she was lying.

**Was this a good chapter? I tried to make it longer than my other short chapters; I think it went alright. This will probably be one of the last chapters with Ivypaw as a character, so enjoy her while she lasts. :)**

**Thanks for reading; could you review? Pleeeease? :D**


	5. Realization

**It appears that my abominable Fanfiction that I am seriously **_**glad **_**is being ignored (I won't even mention the name, but I will say it's a crossover.) is getting more traffic than this one. I think I can update now! xD *thumps head on desk* BRAIN, DON'T FAIL ME NOW.**

I'm dying.

My blood is flowing onto the stones and into the lake. I can hardly form a coherent thought; the only sentence I can utter is a burbling, quiet meow. Coherent thoughts abandon my brain, and all I can think of is fear, agony, and my past.

I did not care, at this moment, about what I could have been; no, for some reason, I chose to dwell on what had shaped me. They were the memories I could totally abandon one day that would only return to bludgeon me over the head the next.

_What have I done? _I wondered, blue eyes staring through my brother who still clenched the stake in his jaws.

I realized how stupid I had been to except the training from my deceased father, but my realization came too late. I remembered the brother- what his name? Great StarClan, I've forgotten him- who had died right before my eyes. I had seen death, and there was no turning back. The light faded from his eyes and his little paw disappeared beneath the gushing water. So long ago... so long since he and I had played together, like the kits we were... Then Sasha abandoned Moth and I to forge a living in the Clan that coveted the blood of a warrior. We were eyed resentfully; I had to work twice as hard as a normal apprentice for the simplest things. Even then, I could see the hatred in the eyes of some of my Clanmate's. If my body was brought back to the camp and the crime I'd commited explained, those cats would eye my body resentfully, spitting, "I always knew he would never fit in." Perhaps I earned it.

"You'll regret you ever did this to me," I tried to snarl at Brambleclaw, though the only thing that came out was a sickening gurgle. I sunk to my paws and wondered why I had to take so long to die. "I'll...I'll..."

My head crashed into the stones, and the last thing I heard was the sound of my blood dripping from the point of the stake.

_Drip..._

_Drip..._

_Drip..._

Then it stopped.

I opened my heavy eyelids to a strange new environment, a bright clearing. There were cats all around me, some I recognized in my haze of exhaustion and the throbbing pain in my neck. Briefly, I thought I was back in the camp at RiverClan.

"Hello, Hawkfrost." A voice from nowhere in particular rang in my ears. I tried to look around, but the blinding sun seared my retinas.

"Where am I?" I choked out, the taste of blood in the back of my mouth. I glanced down once and saw my white chest stained scarlet, though the fatal injury had vanished.

"You're in StarClan," Crookedstar, the former leader of RiverClan, meowed.

"S-StarClan?" I sank to my stomach. "I'm dead," I murmured, more to myself than any of the cats gathered here.

"Correct," said Stonefur, a great warrior whose name was common fodder for nursery tales.

"But..." I began, stopping myself before I could continue, _I tried to kill the ThunderClan leader._

"We know." Crookedstar's stare revealed nothing. "And your place is not with us."

"What do you mean?" I asked, voice weak.

"There is a forest for cats who have done things the warrior code cannot condone. It is the Place of No Stars, and that is where you belong." Crookedstar and the clearing began to pulse, like my vision was fading.

"Why?" I cried before they totally disappeared.

"You attempted to murder Firestar, falsified a sign from us for your own personal gain, and you accepted the training Tigerstar offered you."

Everything went black.

I woke up on the misty banks of a black river, the sky devoid of moon and stars. Briefly, I wondered where I was. Then I remembered. I was dead, trapped in the Place of No Stars. There was nothing here, only trees and fog and a glowing moss on the gnarled tree trunks.

_Are there any cats here? _I gulped at my next thought. _Am I the only cat here...? Then that would mean... Oh, StarClan, I can't say it._

As I walked into the barren land without the slightest idea of what awaited me, I began thinking about my brother again. He had given me confidence and was always willing to talk or play whenever Moth and I felt like it. I missed him so horribly; then I felt the brush of fur on mine.

"Who's there?" I glanced over, seeing only empty space and tongues of fog stroking my pelt.

_"Me,"_ the reply was a thin whisper, but it seemed _familiar..._

"Brother?" I meowed. "Is...is that you?"

I heard nothing.

Of course. I was talking to a figment of my imagination, clinging to the last scrap of my brother I had.

_What have I done? _The realization hit me and I stared around at the Place of No Stars through new eyes. _I didn't have to go here. Things could have been different... Now they never will be. I don't have a second chance._

I continued aimlessly through my empty purgatory, taking in the identical trees. Tempting shadows would dance behind rocks like prey. I pounced once and soon found that was all they were: shadows.

_I can never be forgiven. Everything I did wrong was my own fault. Not Sasha's. Not even Tigerstar's. I was so stupid, so weak..._

_His name is Tadpole, _I remembered.

**Thank you for reading; sorry it took me a while to update! xD I just thought I'd explain the significance of the last line. **

_**His name is Tadpole, **_**I remembered.**

**Earlier in the story, Hawkfrost is on the verge of death, as he attempted to kill Firestar. Brambleclaw came to his leader's rescue and stabbed his own brother. As Hawkfrost is remembering his life, he thinks about his full brother, whose name escapes him. Hawkfrost does mention his memory of playing with that brother, "like the kits we were." Kithood (childhood) is possibly one of the best symbols of innocence- you don't know about the evil in the world yet. Because of his crimes, the attempted murder of the ThunderClan leader and conspiring/training with his bloodthirsty father, he has lost a good portion of his innocence.**

**Hawkfrost comes to realize that what he did was wrong, and feels a pang of regret for his crimes. By remembering the last fragment of his kithood innocence, he is hit by the full weight of what he has done.**

**Did that sound better in my head, dear reader? xD**


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